Creativity

I used to write when I was a kid. I wrote stories, songs, poems - I even tried to write a novel in the fifth grade (I only got about 3 chapters in). I used to be inspired by things and had to control the urge to spill everything onto the pages of my little notebooks.

It's much more difficult for me now. I still have the urge to spill my thoughts onto the pages, but the thoughts don't flow like they used to. Perhaps I've become too aware of my potential audiences and am fearful of appearing foolish, but I've recently become frustrated with my stuttering creative impulse. Is it gone? Am I too grown-up to allow my imagination the freedom it used to have? I refuse to believe that is the case.

I want to be published. I've dreamed this for years. I have potential titles, plots, outlines and characters all stored away in the corners of my mind and spiral notebooks. Every time, though, I try to sit down and put the thoughts together, I either feel stumped or over-analytical. I'm going to keep trying, though. Twilight author Stephenie Meyer had a dream one night, and she sat down and wrote out the story of it in two months, and then had a three-book-deal within the year. Her talents as a writer are not unparalleled, but the spark - the idea -the inspiration - gave her the edge that she needed to be recognized and published. I'm praying for the dream. I'm racking my brains for the spark that will set my keyboard ablaze and allow me to realize one of those big, lifetime goals. I know it's in there. Somewhere.

Someday my inspiration will come.