Family Planning

I ran to Walmart yesterday with a list of things in mind to pick up. Frankie was working; it was just me & the boy. Stopping at Mas Amigos beforehand & walking into the store, I had already seen 5 or 6 current/former students, a Prancer mom, my Sunday school teacher from when I was 4 and random other familiar inhabitants of my small town.

I went down the aisle that has digestive health products on the right that lead into adult diapers at the end and, on the left, shaving products that trickle into family planning. As a married adult pondering the pregnancy test section in previous years, I know what it's like to be aware of the fact that when you hit that section of the store and you're not an AARP member, people know what you've been up to. I've considered that it is necessary to grab the EPT and go, lest rumors of your future children's names get back around to you the next day. I don't think I have ever been "caught" down the family planning aisle, though. Lucky Me.

Not so Lucky Troy*. Or maybe lucky in a different way. I had Troy last year. He's a funny guy, making jokes and being silly. I wouldn't expect him to be so talented with the ladies because he's more of just a goof. Perhaps I underestimated him.

Razor blades were on my shopping list. The kind that's surrounded by the bar of whatever that makes your shaving experience a pleasant job, one-handed, surrounded by bubbles and making you feel sleek & sexy like a Roman goddess (according to the commercial). Troy and his friend were boldly contemplating ribbed or colored, I suppose, when I walked down the aisle. Always one to make an uncomfortable scene more uncomfortable, I cracked a smile when Troy glanced up and caught my eye.

"Glad to see you're being safe there, Troy," I cracked.

Blushing but bold, Troy quipped, "Yep, you gotta think about these things."

We stood for a moment, contemplating our respective choices quickly & quietly, then went on our merry ways. On the other side of the aisle was the Prancer mom I had seen earlier. She had heard the exchange and was giggling to herself when she saw me. We chuckled together at the joys of small town living.

*Names have been changed to protect the sexually active.